The Gnomes Made Me Do It!

Momma always said "keep quiet and behave in church! For ye are in the house of the Lord!"
Catholics are prudes.
We were brought up with strict boundaries of tradition and the observation of quiet reverence during mass, so much so that anytime some enthusiastic Catholic bravely decides to raise his hands in show of his adoration of the dear Lord, audible gasps, nudging whispers of "Wah he raise his hands, and it's not time for the Our Father yet!" are commonly observed. In Singapore 'Peace be with you' is marked with a graceful nod unlike the shaking of hands in the UK. The youth choir are young and unrestrained and hug away with reckless abandon (though I am sure secretly the girls wished it was that strapping senior alter boy they were exchanging 'The sign of Peace' with). This rare show of affection however vanishes with age and is replaced by the usual polite nod.

Indeed any sign of charismatic behviour is equivalent to you being the colour purple and hailing satan infront of the altar. It is taboo and Catholics will be too embarrassed to even look at one exhibiting such behaviour. Take any catholic to mass blindfolded and I can assure you he will be able to kneel, stand, bow at the right times with precision and accuracy. It's tradition you see, the order of mass, any deviation from the order would be radical, and we don't much like change, except at Easter and Christmas, but of course.

I still like tradition, and the fact that I will never be brave enough to raise my hands to the heavens, and that I will kneel, stand bow with reverence, I like being a Christian prude, and I'm happy to be Catholic.

Posted by sideshowjo at 12:45 am | Permalink | Comments

Hoorah, the evening went quite smoothly with just a few blurbs on stage, nothing too major and the co-emcee was a real joy to host with. The dress however cost a damn bomb and I bought it Thursday evening out of sheer deperation and panic. Almost 300 buckeroos, I could have gone to phuket and back damnit! In any case, it IS a lovely silk wrap dress and you know what they say about wrap dresses, it's built for every body type, tucks and sucks in all the right places and it flatters daahling. So bye bye tummy hello cleavage and arse. heh.

My throat is also feeling very scratchy and raw, which made me remember that it is no fun being sick and alone.
More so if you are overseas and alone in a studio apartment, absolutely depressing stuff that one.
I will always remember discovering, 2 years ago, as I lay at home recovering from surgery, homebound and positively miserable, the boyfriend was miles away having a wild shagging good time. It's things like these that really eat away at you and make you bitter and resentful. I am however in a better place now, and have vowed eversince to never put anyone I love or care about in that situation, so they will never ever have to feel that way. People need extra love and patience when they are down and out and I will make it a point to give that to them. It's the least anyone can do.

It's late and I'm rambling.
Night night

Posted by sideshowjo at 1:40 am | Permalink | Comments

I'm going bananas looking at whimiscal plastic jewellery online.
Online shopping BAD!

Posted by sideshowjo at 12:21 pm | Permalink | Comments

On the company bus after work today I was commuting with a colleague, who is an avid dog lover. We passed through a swank neighbourhood with their sprawling lawns and their gorgeous big dogs.

Her: Oh look! The dogs!
Jo: Damn I missed it.

Her: You know Jo, seeing an injured dog and feeling my heartstrings pull but doing nothing about it makes one no better than people who abuse their animals. It's like seeing starving children on TV or the less fortunate, cocking your head and saying 'oh so poor thing' then doing nothing about it, makes one equal to people who don't give a damn.
Jo: So which path have you chosen? Of not caring anymore or doing something about it?
Her: I've decided to stop caring.
Jo: I suppose I understand where you're coming from. Sin through omission.

We all have it in us to practice altruism and put into action the compassion we feel towards those we deem as less fortunate.
Have we put int the effort to help out in our own way, be it monetary, time, talent, skill?
Because she's right, put our hearts, and hands where our mouths are, if not, we shouldn't bother at all.

Posted by sideshowjo at 12:50 am | Permalink | Comments

Today I followed the monkey on his virgin househunting spree.
We went to Kovan Melody, (Oh the chin chong name!) to have a looksee.
The location was great, with a sheltered walkway all the way to the MRT right in front of the establishment and underground walkways to the heartland mall just opposite.
Location wise, it was really spot on.
BUT!
Modern and newer condos are really tiny!
How can they expect families to live in boxes like that.
We both agreed that older condos seem like the right direction to head in.
Probably going to line up appointments to view the older ones in the Thomson area over the next coupla months.


In any case, I've been offered housemate position with subsidised rental, heh.
Very exciting.

Posted by sideshowjo at 6:34 pm | Permalink | Comments

Just had a really nice date night. Thank you, you.
Anyway, this afternoon, after a month and a half of hermit-dom, I caught Nigella Bites on TeeVeefor the first time.
I was blown away.



Nigella makes cooking so easy and eating so sexy.
You can literally feel the sensuality oozing out as she takes mouthfuls of her cooking as a 'cook's treat' after the meal has been prepared.

And it's a plus that shes really smouldering and beautiful AND has a rich british accent.
She's really an inspiration, having lost her husband to throat cancer 5 years ago and bring up 2 beautiful children.
I just got my pay check and I'm going to make a beeline to kino to pick up one of her books.

Domestic Goddess
That's what I want to be!

Posted by sideshowjo at 12:47 am | Permalink | Comments

Joshua staggered into my room and proceeded to bury his face in my pillow.
Are you ok? I enquired
Yes, Sarah and her stupid free flow suggestion. He mumbled
Ah.
What did you have?
2 vodkas, Gin and Tonic, and wiskey.
Lethal Mix.
Yes I can smell.

I just vomitted all over the toilet. Help.

I just spent the last hour hosing down chunks of partly digested fermenting northern indian fare, absolutely putrid no less, and walking downstairs for a hot bowl of noodles with him after.

Glad he's back

Posted by sideshowjo at 3:17 am | Permalink | Comments

Ok, if I can do it, a 5 year old can.
I've had many baking disasters in my life time and have had this obsession with baking a good batch of cupcakes, most definately because of www.52cupcakes.blogspot.com. I even wrote in to try and win her final competition where the winner gets a dozen of her 'every little girl's dream' beautifully frosted cupcakes airflown to your doorstep.

I didn't win.

But nevermind, today I made some Nutella Cupcakes.

These are ridiculously easy to make, look quite impressive and actually taste pretty good!
The nutella slowly crackles under the oven heat and forms a crusty finish, and the bits that stay nestled in the warm sponge cupcake batter stay uncrackled and gooey sticky sweet. It's great, and I've scoffed down 3.
I got the recipe off bakingsheet and I can't wait to cook/bake again this weekend. Yum

http://bakingsheet.blogspot.com/2005/07/cooking-school-self-frosting-cupcakes.html

Finally back to DVD nights.

Season 1, 2, 3, Wheeeeeee!

Posted by sideshowjo at 5:30 pm | Permalink | Comments

A random thought on smell before bedtime

1. Scented panty liners. Need I say more? Do panty liner companies really think women want their privates to smell like "Shower Fresh" or "Summer Fresh"? They must obviously be men who don't like going down south very much.

That's all
School's out and it's time to play.

Posted by sideshowjo at 1:13 am | Permalink | Comments

Taxi driver father, rose through adversity to make it to Med school, got loan, government bond.
The Typical Inspirational Singapore story.
Then policeman come and dangle carrot infront of boy.
Not only dangle, but shove carrot in face.
Saying EAT ME! damnit! EAT ME!
EAT me you must and come loaded with magic mushrooms!

Common.
What kind of Law do we have?
If this was America, it would be inadmissable in court.

If I was a recovering drug addict, alcoholic or porn addict, trying very hard to keep my desires and wants in check, any temptation would be devastating. Yes, then one can argue, so what was he doing in the chat room anyway? But he did turn down the the offer many times, yet the policeman was so insistant on his offer of carrot shagging magic mushroom eating good time, and seriously, who'd turn down a free fuck? And Threesome somemore. Then make the boy scramble to get hold of magic mushroom so he can eat your damn carrot.

It's all very depressing.
I feel very sorry for the family.
The difficult years of med school!
The only way is for him to get out of Singapore and practice overseas.
I still feel that it was wrong.
Why our men in blue do things like that.

Posted by sideshowjo at 10:10 am | Permalink | Comments

Cause: Paper number 2 in 4 days
Effect: Chocolate consumed, Too much

After, mental note to commence bi annual weeding process.
In the words of the wise one:
People that matter,
Things that matter.
Everything else will be discarded.

Posted by sideshowjo at 12:26 pm | Permalink | Comments

Gnomes are the best.

Drummer girl wrote: "Oh, Beazley made me coffee and Bartheus is helping Porn Queen carry her camera equipments. They've been very kind."

Have you acknowledged your gnome today?
I know of some people who have.

Mofo: Maximillian
Drummer Girl: Beazley
Porn Queen: Bartheus
Psychic Sonny: Chavez
Drummer Boy: Farkus

I can't wait to do a photo series with owner and their gnome.
Marcus is very vain.
He's trimming his beard in preparation as we speak.

Posted by sideshowjo at 10:28 pm | Permalink | Comments

Last heart rate check: 102bpm
Stress: Definately

Something to chew on.
Women trying to conceive should definatey clean up their act if they are smokers, heavy drinkers or fashionable drug users.

Mutagenesis during feotal deveopment:
Blastocyte day 1-17: alcohol has serious mutagenic effects
Organogenesis day 17-60: CRUCIAL period! Main period for drug induced malformations, this is the period for sequence of organ formation.

So don't think you can smoke and do drugs and give it up later on in your pregnancy.
The crucial period is day 17-60, the first trimester.
Please be oh so careful with yourself.
Be responsible.

Posted by sideshowjo at 8:24 pm | Permalink | Comments

I forgot to mention that I am a month old owner of a spanking new Singer 8280 sewing machine. Best present. I can't sew for nuts so that's why I can't wait for this to be over, then I can start on lessons and bring to fruit all the crafty ideas that have been brewing. Really excited.

Posted by sideshowjo at 3:55 pm | Permalink | Comments

A wee little bit of imagination and creativity goes a long way.
Eversince we got this new maid 2 months ago, our meals have become very boring and repetitive.
I just went out to look at lunch and I am eating the same food for the 3rd day in a row.
She has zero imagination, and zero initiative.
My mother has to walk her through the dinner plan every single day because my dad will not stand being able to see the same dish on the table two nights in a row. On the days my mother leaves her to do it on her own, she comes up with the same old things.
Last night, I couldn't bring myself to see what left overs I was going to have to eat after class at 10, so I bought Macdonald's instead.

This is very tragic for someone whose life revolves around food.

Posted by sideshowjo at 12:38 pm | Permalink | Comments

Gnome to Gnome: Marcus Thanks Max for the lunch break and for the exchange on barley growing tips

My dad left in a huff 20 mins ago because the plane was scheduled to land at 2.30 but teletext showed 2.01pm.
He got all flustered because he didn't want my brother to wait at the airport with no one there to welcome him.
We are spoilt silly.

Posted by sideshowjo at 2:24 pm | Permalink | Comments

Western medication is a facade.
Anxiety: Administer benzodiazepines- sedation, reduced muscle tone and co-ordination, anticonvulsant
Peptic ulcer: Traditionally, administer H2 receptor antagonist- acid blocker. Done for years and years until they realised, it was actually bacterial so a combination of amoxicillin or other antibiotics in combination with acid blockers went to the root of the problem.
Headache: Paracetamol- Pain Killer
Sore Throat: Analgesic, mild anasthetic

If this whole thing goes to shits, alternative medicine might not seem like such a bad option afterall. I really do believe our body to be a self sufficient entity. Ok disregard cancer, aids, venereal diseases, and all those other diseases which are a result of human stupidity and greed. We are able to heal, if we take the right steps to aid our body to do so. They are even setting up TCM physicians in hospitals now. The western world is recognizing that treating symptomatically is not the way to solve things. Perhaps this inexplicable balance of Yin and Yang, the Chakkras and plethora of traditional explinations of diseases and well being is truly what the western medical world needs to aid it in dishing out recovery and medicative strategies.

Ah, anyway, back to the books.

Posted by sideshowjo at 10:26 am | Permalink | Comments

JOSHUA is coming back tomorrow and staying for 3 whole months before he returns to jogging along the thames and snooty english dinners. Can I just say, he is vice president of the debating society and the 2 fellows that represented their uni's debating team were 2 chinky Singaporean boys of which my brother was one. Our Singaporean men are out debating and out speaking pure breed english lads! Gasp! Another reason to celebrate the gift of our male compatriots.
Oh I have missed my brother yes I have.
Lovely.

Posted by sideshowjo at 11:03 am | Permalink | Comments

I generally don't like to hear about my exs who choose not to stay friends after the relationship.
Yea, I know I have this innate need to move past the nastiness and the fighting and be friends again.
It's probably trite to some, but for me, becoming friends is really part of the whole healing process.
Hell, we were good friends to begin with, so just because love and friendship didn't mix well, doesn't mean it's got the end there. I'm still in touch with 2, both from my teenaged years, heck I even became housemates with a boyfriend from when I was 17, during my 1 semster doing my post grad. It was good fun, wasn't just the 2 of us of course, there were other housemates, plus I was seeing someone then and he trusted me, God bless his soul, and I knew my place. But thing is, we were really over our time as a couple and began to enjoy, once again, the joy of the friendship pre relationship that brought us together in the first place.

Anyway, I'm really just waffling on, I just got a text from my old housemate, telling me she bumped into an ex. To be quite honest, since we chose not to remain friends, I'm seriously not interested to know. So please, do not see the need to update me on sightings of the exs who aren't friends anymore, unless it's something really extraordinary or tragic.

Posted by sideshowjo at 11:20 pm | Permalink | Comments