The Gnomes Made Me Do It!

Since my parents are enjoying winter and kicking back drinking coffee in quaint cafes, I have had to fill in for them, running errands and attending family functions. Not complaining really, cars at ones disposal and plastic to pay for domestic necessities. Heh. It's been fun. But as of midnight tonight, my housesitting, errand running, mummy and daddy stand in role is officially over and its time to be a child again and have fun in the sun!

Now for our 1 big holiday of the year, and an opportunity to partially reunite the gang. Married couple will be missed, but we look forward to frying chicken wings in their new pad this Christmas/Chinese New Year :)

God bless friends and holidays and getting to eat at Hamburger Hill.

BYE BYE!

Posted by sideshowjo at 11:30 am | Permalink | Comments

Found a bunch of old pictures from the dark days. Remembering Brisbane 2003, 2004.

Posted by sideshowjo at 11:53 am | Permalink | Comments

SKAGEN

When it comes to watches, I prefer simple understated designs. I have had my aluminium Guess watch for the past 7 years, a watch bought with money earned from waiting tables. An early reminder that one must toil for money . Have not been able to find an affordable watch that I fancy since then even though the Guess was in bad shape, I suppose part of me couldn't bear to part with the old watch. Things have changed however, as the monkey bought this designed and made in Denmark steel beauty, just because, and I'm beginning to love it a whole lot.

Posted by sideshowjo at 5:53 pm | Permalink | Comments

Cousin
I've always wanted a sister. You know, a gal pal that happens to share the same surname and parents as you, sleeps in the room across/next to yours, partner in curfew breaking/fashion/failed relationships/cover ups etc... That's not to say I don't appreciate my brother, it is a different relationship, sisters have, not the rough and tumble in the mud sorta relationship one would have with one's brother.

I suppose the closest I have ever gotten to having sisters of my own was growing up with cousins who were all, incidentally, girls with brothers and no sisters. Even thought we have all grown up now, it still feels like when we were teens whenever family functions sees all the cousins sitting at the 'kids' table.

My grandfather's brother just passed away, and I have to attend the wake by myself as the folks are holidaying. A quick SOS to my cousin, and without hesistation, she agreed to go with me so that I would not have to sit and eat peanuts by myself. There's something about family relationships that can never rival other friendships. I'm grateful

Posted by sideshowjo at 5:17 pm | Permalink | Comments

Baking is meant to be a science, so if I'm supposed to be left brain dominant, and all analytical, logical and sciency, then BAKING SHOULDN'T BE THAT DIFFICULT! So I thought, ok approach this like I would if I were to grow bacteria on agar plates. I have my ingredients, I need to seperate them into analyte and matrix, determine the best conditions for propagation and choose the best protocal.

Analyte: Component of interest.
Matrix: Also known as binding agent, the substance that gives the analyte the happy supporting grid it needs to propagate.
Conditions: Self explanatory

In this case, I'm making a brownie.
I have chosen to use the Nigella Lawson protocal.

This would mean:
Analyte: Dark chocolate and nuts
Matrix: Flour, eggs, sugar, vanilla essence. butter
Conditions: Heat

So if you want a sucessful culture, you need the correct analyte, the best analyte. Fine. I bought quality dark chocolate (think 80% cocoa, bitter bitter bitter!) and raw almonds, roasted in the oven till bone dry. The supporting matrix needs to be sturdy as well, if not, your analyte will be unstable. Which basically means, I have to determine the best mode of mixing and flour type so that the density is perfect so that nuts do not sink to bottom, throw in some pricey french butter and you're all set. The condition is always the tricky part isn't it? Too hot and your bacteria will die, to cold, well, they'll die too, you've got to find that right setting which is unique to different incubators, I mean, ovens.

This time round, the expensive chocolate and french butter made a world of difference! What is the conclusion? If you want quality bakes use only the finest ingredients, especially that of the analyte, the supporting matrix can afford to be average. Know your bloody oven (don't end up realising that you've been grilling your cakes for the past 10 years. Argh!).

Everything can be broken down into a science.

Posted by sideshowjo at 3:27 pm | Permalink | Comments

Do any of you get the hunger hibbie Jibbieees once the clock strikes 12 midnight?
I'm famished right now, and the 2 cups of tea I had at 8.30 is keeping me wide awake. At this present moment, I can only entertain thoughts of pancakes, doughnuts, roast goose... ROAST GOOSE! Here are some highly important Hong Kong pictures from almost 2 years ago.




GOOSE! GOOSE! GOOSE! GOOSE! GOOSE! GOOSE! GOOSE! GOOSE! GOOSE! GOOSE!


The best damn noodles I've ever had. Swine innards served in swine broth. Swine Heaven


Deep fried fish skin traditionally eaten with above mentioned noodles




HKers have this mad obsession with their greens. Vegetable rice is taking this obsession to a whole new level.


We had french toast that cost as much as 20 cheap french toasts combined


One such cheap french toast. In truth, there was no difference. Stick to the ghettos, friends.


And of course, the famed POLO BUN. Loosely translated, POLO means pineapple, I think! There is nary an ounce of pineapple in this and it sure doesn't resemble one. I have no idea how the association was made, or rather, what kind of pineapples are HKers eating?

Posted by sideshowjo at 1:13 am | Permalink | Comments

I had 2 huge slices of durian cake 4 hours ago, and I just gave out a big belch filled with pungent durian goodness and it reminded me of the time I stuffed my face with durian on my birthday 4 years ago with Mofo, before proceeding to Zouk for alcohol (Durians and Alcohol. What were we thinking) and a bit of a boogey. It was hilarious because we were at member's bar (God what was I doing there anyway!) and all these Chi Chi Atas try to be all grand people were standing around with their drinks and there Mofo and I let out a big belches filled with pungent durian goodness, thinking we could get away with it when this snotty up and coming TeeVee personality shouted loudly "Wah! Who eat durian!". We just looked at each other absolutely mortified and chuckled quietly.

Durians, good times indeed.

Posted by sideshowjo at 12:11 am | Permalink | Comments

So Young! So Angry!
Friends have witnessed me hurling abuse at racist Australians, telling people who cut queues off, telling people to shut up in cinemas, asking the invigilator to offer my packet of tissue to the person seated next to me in an exam hall with a nasty snorting habit, berating unhelpful and rude customer service staff, jamming the brakes on the expressway when some arsehole is tailgating my car, having a loud exchange with a rude rude rude gay man on the bus who shoved his way though a crowded bus by pushing people, writing a stern note to an inconsiderate motorist who had parked his/her car taking up 2 lots in a crowded shopping centre carpark on a busy weekend, Yes, alot of pent up aggression. My tolerance threshold for nonsense, stupidity, rudeness and injustice has been brought to new lows.

Or is this just normal human behaviour (note to self: bjork's human behaviour lyrics playing in head now, should revisit some bjork)? Normal is relative. I do not want to be a push over, yet, I do not want to be a bitch either. It's a fine line, one that I have to monitor closely.

Posted by sideshowjo at 1:31 pm | Permalink | Comments

The channel offers a fantastic work arrangement, giving me time off when I need it.
The only down side is that pay day isn't consistent and is the responsibility of my boss. Sometimes he forgets this responsibility, or chooses to drag his feet, hence cheques do not come in on time, and sometimes I end up staying home to avoid having to spend the last few dollars for the month. If not for the monkey that brings me to eat nice things every so often, it would be an existence that meets basic needs with very minimal entertainment and no purchases.

Last month, as a last resort, I had to ask my mother for 20 friggin dollars so I could buy tampons because my pay cheque did not arrive when it should have. That was a real a low point and I felt terrible asking her for money. So you can imagine, after forking out money for the plane ticket, I have been worrying about finances for the impending trip. My father just put a wad of cash in my hand, AND in the appropriate currency, and said casually, "for your trip".

I can't even begin to describe my emotions at this point.

Posted by sideshowjo at 11:34 pm | Permalink | Comments

Wilfred the Vandal

Posted by sideshowjo at 12:47 pm | Permalink | Comments

Camera Obscura

For the past year and a half, I have repeatedly refused offers of a new digital camera, partly because of the hefty sum and partly because I have no clue as to what exactly it is I want. Eversince the popularization and development of the digital camera, it has become increasingly difficult to decide if digital is truly better. My brother and mother abhors digital, mostly because my father had bought a pricey 5 megapixel fuji camera when it was first launched and the prints it produced were blur and flat. Till today, both of them still use the traditional point and shoot film cameras that shop owners now hide away on the back shelves of their shops.

As they say, a carpenter should never blame his skills on his tools. My brother managed to capture the essence of venice and turkey with a less than $300 point and shoot olympus that I gave him for his birthday. The pictures were beautiful, colours vibrant, angles interesting. His nifty exploitation of the device produced prints that could rival any expensive SLR.

I currently have a LOMO LCA, which I have not fully exploited yet, an olympus APS point and shoot film camera that my parents gave me before I left for Australia, and... that's it really, well, that's if you count the very useful inbuilt motorola 1.3 megapixel camera, with which most photos for gardenparty are taken with. I'm still of two minds about film and digital, although I am leaning towards the latter because, the sky's the limit really, you can take 1000 shots and never have to worry about wasting or running out of film. But yet, I still enjoy having physical prints and consumer digital print quality always looks flat and... digital. None of that richness film has.

What to do?
I don't think I'll ever be able to resolve this and finally decide on a camera, but like I said, if one's tools do not define one's ability to craft, then I should be able to make do with what I have, not that I have an exeptional eye to begin with anyway.

Posted by sideshowjo at 9:26 am | Permalink | Comments

The Journey

I was once told of the concept of the hero's journey, I shall mention that it was adopted by George Lucas in the telling of Star Wars as well as in the Matrix, and many say that Jesus also walked the path of the Hero's journey. I think in our own way, we are all on the same journey, encountering different personal situations and emotions of course, but which are ultimately metaphors that symbolize different elements of the same journey.

Through sheer hard work and sacrifices, succumbing to the temptresses and the attonment with the father; may the bestowment of this honour, which in my opinion signifies 'The Ultimate Boon’ in your journey, give you the drive to push ahead on your return journey, to share your talent with humanity and bring to light human conditions and stories that need to be told.




Congratulations, you've earned every bit of this accolade

Posted by sideshowjo at 10:54 pm | Permalink | Comments

Monkey: Did you realise that gnome and genome have almost the same spelling a pronunciation?
Jo: Shit! You are right!
Monkey: Yeah! Since there is the genome institute, there should also be the ............. For higher learning like shroom cultivation, pipe making, hat sewing etc...
Jo: Ha ha ha ha ha. That's funny!!! You have more gnome intuition than me!

Whilst contemplating on a hoodie with the 'Stop Opressive Gardening!' gnome series printed on it, I came across this.

This has got to be the most disturbing gnome apparel I've come across to date.

Posted by sideshowjo at 11:30 pm | Permalink | Comments

Eh! Another post for today. That's quite enough already.
But! before I go, I read this, an old post from 2004/5 telling of my mother's horrendous taste in decoration. Sad to say...the state of my room has not changed much since then. heh

"I go to sleep every night paying tribute the Makeover disaster that is Glamour Shots, 6 blown up pictures of an awkward 17 year old and her mother, sinister, perverse, ornately framed up. Hanging neatly in front of my bed, a great way to start my day. On the left wall, more mother daughter pictures, interspersed with the occasional daddy in bell bottoms-Josie picture, and Jesus. Mary. The holy Family. Jesus on the cross. Rosary beads. In the toilet, old porcelain water jug containing sprays and sprays of FAKE Golden Shower flowers, stagnating, collecting dust. The very bastards that caused my asthma attack.

This place has been screaming for a change of ownership.
It's time to mark my lamp posts."

Posted by sideshowjo at 5:28 pm | Permalink | Comments

For 3 moths I mulled over whether I should purchase these from this site. Today I did. Which is stupid because I really ought to be saving every single cent for my trip. But what the hell. I've done it, spent all $100.86 of my hard earned money, and now will look forward to receiving mail. Tell me. Who doesn't like receiving mail!!!

SO FRIENDS. Yes the handful of you that come by every so often.
I want to send everyone mail for christmas, yes. That's what I want to do this year.
So if you would like to receive mail, and I would really love you too, please leave me a comment/e-mail me and tell me the name of YOUR GNOME. Yes the little fella that's been running around with you, which some of you may or may not have seen. And in return, I will personalize something for you for christmas. It's not something grand, but like I said, this year, everyone gets mail for christmas. So please don't be shy, if not I'll have alot of something and no one to send it out to :p

Posted by sideshowjo at 5:03 pm | Permalink | Comments

I AM GRATEFUL...

...to be asian chinese living in effluent Singapore.
...to be given the opportunity of a good education.
...for the chance to have lived in London, Sydney and Brisbane.
...for the extra luxuries enjoyed as a upper middle class family.
...that my parents are still very much in love after 36 years.
...for my father who has integrity and a rigid moral infrastructure.
...for my mother who is alway self-sacrificing.
...for my brother who is upright and honest.
...for strong family bonds.
...for a soulmate who is on a journey of self discovery.
...for my friends who accept me regardless of my flaws.
...for my belief system that had been cultivated through the years.
...for 2nd, 3rd, 4th chances.
...for the ability to dream, hope, and love.

...for this life that I have, had and will have.

Posted by sideshowjo at 2:19 pm | Permalink | Comments