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My name is Josephine and I am 25 this year. I was born 3 weeks late as I refused to come out of my mother's womb into this stinking cesspit of shit called the world. When I was 5, I took off my shorts and urinated on one of the big cushions in the living room and then proceeded to place my 1 year old brother on top of it, needless to say the poor bastard was spanked silly. But we have since grown up and I love my brother, sometimes I rub his back.

I was schooled in Singapore for most of my 16 years, and during the 17th my mother decided that I should go to UK and make some lesbian Hong Kong girl very happy in a repressed convent in the middle of East Sussex. I got drunk on a bottle of hooch and slipped and fell on some preppy english boy's pee. I also snogged a very ugly boy called Hector. My chemistry teacher was a pervert and used to love looking up Cassendra Genn's (child prodigy) skirts during class. Cassie would hike up her skirts and put on a show for the old man.

4 years in Australia, 3 months laboratory internship, 1 month film production, 1 day secretary to Italian delegate, 6 months into communications for a not-for-profit. Sometimes I cry for no reason, I drive my friends mad, and they get annoyed with me sometimes and ask me to eat more so I will bloat and explode. I oscillate in and out of mild depression which is induced by my over melodramtic self and music. I hate it when people lie to me, but I too am guilty because I tell them about the gnomes that stand beside me and pull faces when I get mad, but that's not really lying cause I am not too sure if they are actually there or not.