The Gnomes Made Me Do It!

Can I just say, I will turn fully lesbian for Ms. Japan
I usually do not watch beauty pagents as I think they are a total waste of time and a wankfest for men, but I snuck a peak monday morning when a collegue switched channels to cable and exclaimed for me to go into her room to bask in Ms Japan's beauty. Shs is beautiful, graceful and refined, AND speaks 4 languages fluently, Japanese, English, Spanish and French. It's the new breed of pagent queens, the lollipops with brains, yes ladies and gentlemen, women are getting smarter and the beautiful ones are realising that the 2 cranial haves are far more powerful then the 2 chest halves, and are now learning to match up brains with beauty. Go women! Read! Get smart! There is more to life than manicures, spas, clubs, men.

I thought I'll never say this, as I always scowl at the women in Jap porn and the kawaiiactcute school girls in magazines, but Ms. Japan, The Land of the Rising Sun sent her finest yet.

Posted by sideshowjo at 1:33 am | Permalink | Comments

Wine Guzzler
Originally uploaded by dezzo.

A common scene spanning Thursday till Sunday, the opening of mouth to receive culinary treats and beverages incessantly during lunch, tea and dinners, pausing ever so often to breathe (something which I am finding rather difficult to perform at the moment).

Thursday saw the gang at Bathers at Sunset way for Australian cuisine, yes Porn Queen, they ALMOST named a resturant in Bartheus's honour :P The newly weds knew the chef, so he whipped up a menu for us which was simply stellar. The crab bisque was light and fragrant, not thick and overpowering like how most bisques tend to be and the beef tenderloin was cooked to just the right doneness. It's a quiet cosy place, just the kind I like. No schmoozing, just honest to goodness nice people with mean talents in the kitchen.

Friday started off easy with a simple honey mustard chicken cesar salad at the Book Cafe with Badger and Drummer Girl and escalated to dinner at Hua Zhu Resturant. A fantastic no frills chinese resturant which serves the best young sambal kang kong, sweet and sour fish, Kung Pow chicken and home made fried man tou, the size of roti boy buns, which accompanies the succulent flakey soft crab drenched in thick eggy chilli sauce. Hua Zhu is located along Farrer Road, next to St. Margaret's school. Belle, the Boss's daughter aka my ex-collegue aka the girl in the picture says that her dad hasn't changed the menu for 20 years, and all the dishes are still a hit.

Saturday, dinner at Tambuah Mas (spelling?) in Tanglin Shopping centre. The tauhu goreng is a work of art with deep fried cottony egg threads interlacing the the crisp tofu bits forming a rather impressive block-like structure. It is accompanied with sweet indonesian dark sauce, melt in your mouth stuff I tell ya.

Sunday, lunch at Ivin's with the monkey, a whopping 5 dishes and dessert, for a criminally cheap price of $25. The Monkey loved the beef rendang which I found tough and stringy, but the sayur Lodeh (spelling?) rocked for me. It had just the right amount of coconut milk, the veggies were stewed to soft perfection and best of all was served piping hot in a claypot. Then it was KFC at the zoo for tea (!) and finally, some respite from the binging, a simple but delectable homecook fare for dinner.

Sin: Gluttony
Penance: Tuesday, Thursday Gym, no carbs, no soft drinks, light dinner for a week.

Posted by sideshowjo at 12:32 am | Permalink | Comments

Screaming Infidelities
In this day and age, sex is just sex.
The physical euphoria one gets from an orgasm through the union of bodies sure as hell supersedes that of a quiet handjob. Sex is cheap, morals have been obliterated, embrace the hedonistic sexual pleasures.
Does sleeping around with random people mean that one has some deep seeded psychological scars or issues that need to be addressed?
Adieu the sanctity of marriage, the promise of an engagement, the hope of a monogamous relationship.

Cheating hurts and scars to varying degrees as there are different types of infidelities:
1) Sex with random people: ONS (one night stands)/Heat of the moment/Intoxicated Act
2) Sex as a service : Prostitution/Massage with added service
3) Sex with a constant sex partner, no emotional attachment: Fuck Buddy
4) Sex with emotional attachement: Adultery/Affair/The 'Other Woman'/The 'Other Man'

Men are genetically predispositioned to cheat on their wives/fiances/girlfriends more so than women. They basically just need to stick their dicks into the buffet spread in exchange for sexual gratification/empowerment. Men have egos, egos need to be stroked. Loosely quoting Rick Warren, author of 'The Purpose Driven Life' in an interview, 'The whole world can be impressed with with you, but your family, they aren't impressed, I still have to come home, wash the dishes, take out the trash.' Men need that you see, they need to feel like their in control, to feel like they have some sort of power. Take that away from them, and you may run the risk of him straying. An article on husband abuse recently reported that some top management men may be aggresive dictators at work, but at home, become meek and withdrawn, hen pecked, they say.

Any sign of trouble or instablility in the relationship and I can gurantee you, our male counterparts will be first out of the door and into the arms of another woman who can show them the respect they crave for. The kind of respect that is born out of a new budding relationship, or that in its early nurturing stages. It is during those periods that we see the good in them, only the best he has to offer and are blinded to all the other flaws thanks to the heady emotions of luurve/infactuation. For that time, he is good, he is perfect. It's when you both become a little weathered, the fighting, the disagreements, the goodness strips away and you focus on the on the flaws. The flaws that slowly reveal themselves, pushing out between the sinous muscle fibres, brandishing themselves on his epidermis, in plain sight, a constant reminder, marking him. The beast.

Infidelity is emotionally crippling and destructive. The worst sort would definately be 4), where not only do you have to deal with the dishonest physical act, but that he had to turn to someone else for the emotional support. With 1), 2) and 3), and he can probably get away by claiming an overactive libido/roving eyes or the need for power expressed through sexual acts. The hurt will still be there, but like I said, sex is just sex. Men can somehow seperate the 2, or rather, lack the ability to marry sex and the emotional implications that come along with it. 4) is an unforgivable sin, and 4) hurts like a bitch.

I've never been through 4) and I pray that none of you beautiful independent women out there will ever have to go though that hell. What is this all about?
Well, I got inspired after watching nip tuck.
I want to endeavour to always see the good in people, friends, family and of course my boyfriend/fiancee/husband. How will you feel if someone looks at you and all you can see is resentment in their eyes.

Don't give them reason to stray, and men, keep your damn dick in your pants.

Posted by sideshowjo at 2:15 pm | Permalink | Comments

Shit.
My energy levels have been at an all time low of late and i attribute it to the fact that I've put on weight.
I definately have.
Post exams its been eat, read, sleep, watching dvds, going to work on days when I feel up to it (what a bloody good deal I tell you!), massages and basically languishing in my own scummy laziness. Gross.
Work isn't really work at this point, because I get paid to watch teevee, and sit on my fat arse. Once in awhile a do have to get up from my seat and do some things, but other than that, I'm glued to the goggle box.
I don't want a repeat of 1997, where I put on 10 glorious kilos at boarding school and ballooned to scary sizes 14-16.

I really do not want to be a blob.
Plus, this week is filled with more eating activities, shit.
I need to re-hash the 3 times a week run regime, and after boycotting MacDonald yoga and commercial gyms, I think I'm going to head on down to the local community centre and sign up to practice my sun salutations and warrior poses with the aunties of Thomson.

Yes.
I cannot and WILL NOT be Jello.
In any case, classes start up again this week, so I hope to get back into a healthy routine again.

Also, I can't wait to see the gang on thursday and hang out with Badger and drummer girl on friday.
I just wish Porn Queen was here.


Badger, you're one beautiful pregnant chick


Wedding reunion

Posted by sideshowjo at 8:51 pm | Permalink | Comments

Immediately after a post about starving, I shall resume normal programming and talk once again, about the wonders of food, to be precise, a snack I've been hooked on for the past 3 weeks.
It was discovered serendipitously on a lazy afternoon due to the absence of junk food in larder and fridge.
I had a major craving for chocolate then, but because I am now a poor struggling student AGAIN, I cannot indulge my stupid whims as and when I like. I was hence reduced to rummaging through the wine cooler, fridge, mother's secret hiding place, and every cupboard in the kitchen. I found:
1. Leftover nutella from the cupcakes
2. Cream Crackers

The marriage of nutella with the buttery flakey cream crackers is absolutly explosive. Best eaten as a thick layer of nutella sandwiched between 2 cream crackers. Bloody good and hits the spot. I've tried 4 cream crakers with 3 layers of nutella and that works too, but a modest 2 seems to do the trick.

Try it.
Seriously.

And I also want to thank Porn Queen and Drummer Girl for their wicked presents of cotton underwear, GRANNY UNDERWEAR!, a smashing NEW GNOME BOOK to add to the 2 from the monkey and and and...


What would life be like if one had no friends and loved ones that indulged ones gnome madness.

Positively miserable.
I am indeed grateful and very blessed
THANK YOU!!

Posted by sideshowjo at 12:47 am | Permalink | Comments

An epiphany:
I ate very little the 2 and a half days I was exploring on my own. Eating was utilitarian, the lack of company made food taste like cardboard. The last day where I had the best company in the whole world saw me binge eating as usual. Perhaps the solution to becoming skinny is that I should starve myself of human contact, affection and company.

Having said that

Food when consumed in the comforts of one's own home/room, devoid of company, does taste rather delicious. It's that joy of peeling nonya rainbow cake layer by layer and sucking each one slowly. Or puttting cheezles on every single finger and then relish eating them off every single digit. Yummy.

So, being out and about AND alone will definately aid dieting.

Posted by sideshowjo at 5:38 pm | Permalink | Comments

Background Tunes: Light Drum and Bass
Money, passport, clean underwear- Check
Nip Tuck Season 1- Check
Lomo- Check
Journal- Check
Books- Check
Ipod- Check

I'm a big girl, and I'm going to have me a Lost in Translation weekend.
I will sit and sip tea, read my book, walk around, take pictures.
Will I meet my Bill Murray, run around like a child, and figure out what it's really all about?

Who cares.
I'm Scarlett.
I've got my cotton undies.
I want to be lost.

Posted by sideshowjo at 1:15 am | Permalink | Comments

Overheard: Pregnant collegue exclaiming loudly in utter frustration
"I'm fat and retaining water! I should have a sign that says Pierce Here In Case Of Fire!"

Posted by sideshowjo at 12:36 am | Permalink | Comments