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The teh-teh's are swollen and painful, my stomach is bloated, I'm tired, I'm feeling fat.
I feeling sorry for myself.
Of course after which a series of things will take place in the vain attempt to quell this useless PMS nonsense, whilst going Poot! I am better than these bastard hormones.

I will very naturally:
1) Go shopping- Unfortunately highly impossible this month, as I have to clear a big credit card debt with the "Daddy Bank" after the Ohmm indulgence. So living in mild poverty it is.
2) Dive into rigourous exercise routine to shed pounds- Possible, in progress
3) Wear potato sack top to hide bulge
4) Poke swollen Teh Tehs and curse at sky saying "Why you make me woman?"
5) Mildly abuse Monkey Bastard and ask for Monkey Bastard to perform extra servings of dance for added entertainment

Now I go watch Nip Tuck and continue feeling sorry.